How to be correctly misunderstood

You wanna be misunderstood in the right way.

Being misunderstood is difficult for the following reasons:

  • You feel a constant need to get across your side of the story, to people who don’t give a damn what your side of the story is, because they’ve made up a completely different story where THEY are the main character and their story justifies their personality and position on things.
  • You may very well lose the opportunity to share something that is poignant, beautiful or useful with somebody whose view is tainted by haters getting in their ear.
  • You can relate the ill feelings back to your own sense of guilt and shame about bad things you’ve done and rationalize that you deserve it.

I’ve said it before, other people’s opinions about you, has got nothing to do with you. People can’t see a damn thing in this world. They see their own brains, bouncing off the world in front of their eyes.

They’ll see whatever they need to see to continue living however they live.

People will ‘give up’ on the opposite sex after dating 3 people who are exactly the same (because it’s “their type”) and make a rash generalization about that gender as a whole and the entire exercise was to justify their relationship with their opposite-gender parent.

They see what they need to see.


People will be best friends with someone they don’t respect, because it’s somehow easier to respect themselves. Or they’ll be best friends with someone who doesn’t respect them, because they have no self-respect. We use people to see what we want in the world.

The thing about being misunderstood is, you want to be hated for the RIGHT REASONS more than you want to be LOVED, for the WRONG reasons.

You want people to get it right, so that people don’t hang around expecting something that’s not who you are. You want the wrong people away from you.

So I daresay, we need to be thankful for our haters, if they’re right.

If they’re not your kinda people, thank fuck they don’t wanna be a part of your world. Congratulations, someone that would’ve ruined it for you, decides to leave.

It makes room for YOUR PEOPLE to come in.

This is far more ideal than your target market getting it wrong. Someone who is perfect for you as a friend, lover, customer, client, confidant, associate: thinks the wrong thing and decides you’re not the right fit.

Now that’s a tragedy.

For this reason, let your fucking colours shine. Show people what you’re about. Embrace the haters. Make sure they get it straight and they move the fuck over.

But shine hard so that your people can find you.

It’s the only way to be sure.

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