I had a beef with another martial arts teacher (the first of many) and I didn’t choose it but it was thrust upon me.
It really came down to a values thing.
I, really appreciate people and their disposition: everybody’s got something to say, everyone has their energy games.
He was the kind of person that thought he was smarter than everyone and that everyone was stupid and that they should respect him. You know the type, neurotic, logical, disconnected from emotion, able to logically rationalise negativity.
Naturally, I had more clients.
Now I understand it was probably very frustrating for him, being of a higher rank, struggling to get private clients and seeing me succeeding.
But the crux of a client based service is in valuing the clients. And as we know as martial artists, your team-mates become your family, your nearest and dearest.
You bleed and you sweat together. You drink and cry about love.
The higher you get in expertise the further
So I mightn’t have been a better martial artist but I was easily a better teacher and definitely a better friend.
The bullshit subtly escalated, funny because quite a few people had grudges at that gym.
It was kind of in the culture.
OWNERS: Keep an eye on that shit.
Culture is King.
I consulted a wise man that was both of our superior. He said something to me that made me sigh with a deep sense of responsibility:
“The more aware you are, the more accountable you are.”
It didn’t matter that “He started it” or that I didn’t feel I’d done anything on purpose to upset him.
The fact of the matter was this:
In being able to see things from his point of view, to see him for the kind of person he was, to view the dynamics of the situation objectively…
I had the moral high ground, but I also had the moral dilemma of maturely accepting, instead of emotionally reacting.
Having that CHOICE, is a powerful gift.
One who reacts is uncontrolled and weak to his flanks.
A lot of martial artists study psychology, their self improvement being multifaceted.
It should be the responsibility of law enforcement, security and of trained fighters to pursue emotional intelligence and maturity. And if you need a reason, how about to avoid getting yourself locked the fuck up for making a mistake.
As a warrior you are playing with fire.
And being aware of a drunk patron’s disposition, of a criminal’s fear, of your lover’s self-doubt… These are all paths to owning and defusing a situation.
In being aware you are accountable.
Which limits your ability to indulge in the raw emotions of hostility and revenge.
But awareness gives us the insight to dismantle a situation at the core, instead of this “Bullying will not be tolerated” and ridiculous Wars on drugs, we might be able to actually fix the problem of the dumber strong kids taking out their academic frustration on the weedy smart kids.
We might cut domestic violence at the knees by seeing the fear of loss and lack of self-worth in the perpetrators that forces them to trap and control their victim so that they can’t leave.
By empathizing with the drug addicts’ lack of healthy relationships, we might alleviate their need to self-soothe and to turn to crime to service the only love that they know.
It does not mean weakness to empathise instead of retaliate.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
And if you can see what they can’t, aren’t you already more powerful anyway?