The Curse of the Warrior

There’s this perpetual suffering that comes with being a warrior.

You’re fighting because you’re in pain and you’re in pain because you’re a fighter.

It’s not the physical pain, the relentless injuries, or the tiredness and soreness weighing you down as you’re trying to avoid getting your ass handed to you.

I was born injured, I was born with a broken heart.

I see all these people waking around their lives, not fighting, not hurting. I’m like “How the fuck are you living without fighting? Do the demons not keep you awake? How are you not running?”

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But not everyone’s born broken, not everyone yearns for their innocence.

It’s not the snide, spiteful comments that hurt. It’s the disconnection. Your peers saying “You’re not one of us.”

It used to bother me because I admired people that called me names and that cuts deep. But I realised it was always people who weren’t the walking wounded.

They weren’t warriors. And i wasn’t one of them.

If you EVER question a person’s integrity then you don’t understand that we are all innately the same.

Questioning someone else’s integrity is doubting your own.

Your mind can’t see things that aren’t inside it.

If you’re not a warrior, then you can’t see me.

You didn’t see me up at 5am every other day for the last 10 years. You didn’t see me arguing with my friends about whether I should eat or drink what they were having.

You didn’t see me spilling someone else’s blood and feeling like that was the only thing that silenced the voices in my head.

You didn’t see me kick a man in the face when he was on his knees and thinking of my parents in that moment.

You didn’t see me pointing at the ground EVERY single DAY and telling people to throw me down there, because it’s not that hard and you can do it, buddy. It’s easier than you think. And you don’t have to be scared anymore.

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Some people are born violent.

Other’s achieve violence.

But all people have violence thrust upon them.

If you’re a warrior, you have the responsibility to shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness.

There’s no technique that will save you when the shit hits the fan: and someone who you love, is trying to kill you.

There’s no ‘style’ that can defeat the hatred in someone’s heart when they feel you’ve wronged them and you can’t convince them otherwise, because ultimately they need LOVE in that moment and LOVE is the fucken opposite of how they are behaving.

The toughest thing you can do, is lay down your violence and be completely vulnerable.

I’ve held a 6 foot man up against a car to protect strangers, so they could run away.

And I’ve stood toe to toe with someone yelling at me and said: “What’s wrong man, you seem upset.”

Both times, the guy sighed. And yielded.

Both times I brought love to the hatred.

If you think you’re tough try showing vulnerability in the heat of battle.

If you think you’re tough, try loving every single person in the world because everyone is fucked up in their own unique and beautiful way.

I love you, whoever the fuck you are.

Because we have the same feelings you and I.

We all, have ALL the feelings.

Warriors choose the hot ones, the heart-strong ones.

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And we love with an unrivalled passion.

We might fucking kill you given the chance.

But worse still if we love you we’re gonna expect you to rise to the occasion.

Stop complaining. You’re better than that.

Make your life better, you know what you need to do.

And if you loved as much as you hate…

If you lived, as much as you hurt…

You’d be your own hero.

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